The average breast size of women in the UK is recorded as being the largest in history, and with that, more women are finally becoming familiar with the trials and tribulations that come with being a Big Breasted One.
1. You need a loan to buy your bras
It doesn’t matter where you go to shop, you’ll always come out having spent £4773848 of your life savings and then some just to buy a piece of material which will prevent your breast from reaching your knees.
2. You can forget ever owning a pretty bra
All those pretty bras you see on the models are a pipe dream for us large breasted women. Calvin Klein, Victoria Secret and all those other makers of beautiful bras just don’t cater to women with a cup size bigger than a D. Why? Who knows. Maybe it would cost an arm and a leg to manufacture, or maybe we’d just make them look downright awful. Either way, we still get stuck with the boring, beige nursing style bras with straps two inches thick.
3. Wearing a name tag at any time is disastrous
Name tags always go on your chest, but the issue with big breasted women is that these name tags draw attention to them for all the wrong reasons. People won’t remember you as ‘Victoria’. They’ll probably fondly refer to you as ‘boobs’ because despite staring at your name tag for hours, they were incapable of memorising your name.
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4. You can forget about enjoying any sport that involves running
Running with big boobs is horrible. In fact, I’d go as far as to say it’s one of the worst things ever. You’re worried that people are staring, and even more worried that you’re going to give yourself a black eye. Or that your boobs are going to bounce out of your bra in a bid to finally break free.
5. Wearing a bikini is a terrifying experience
Like with bras, manufacturers of bikinis are making their bikini tops smaller, and smaller, and smaller in order to cater to those who like to flaunt their stuff in teeny weeny pieces of material. It’s impossible to find one that your breast don’t threaten to bust themselves out of, and more often that not you find yourself stuck in a one piece, hating life.
6. You can forget about ever looking good in a bridesmaid’s dress
For some reason, brides seem to favour the strapless bridesmaid dress which is downright horrendous for anyone with large breasts. It constantly slips, meaning that every five minutes you have to do the ‘lift shuffle’ to make sure that you’re not ‘on show’, and the dress looks like it’s melting off you in all the pictures. If it’s not strapless, it’s usually off the shoulder which then makes you look like you have one boob bigger than the other, and both at different heights.
7. The idea of having a baby is terrifying
It goes without saying that having a baby makes your breasts EVEN BIGGER than they already are. Mine are already big enough without going up another two sizes. Enough already!
8. It doesnt matter what kind of top you wear, you always look like you’re putting your boobs on display
Wearing a v-neck, round-neck, turtle-neck…. any neck, basically, makes you look like you’re purposefully trying to attract attention to your boobs. Unfortunately, this makes you overly popular with men and less than popular with other women who think you’re doing it on purpose.
Archangeldreadnought
9. Button-down shirts are a huge no
Button down shirts are the bane of any working woman’s life with big breasts. The buttons pop open in the middle of meetings and the rest of the time they’re practically bursting apart, leaving a gaping hole in the front of your shirt which shows everyone which bra you’re wearing. It’s more than humiliating.
10. Wearing a strapless bra is pointless
The moment you put a strapless bra on, you immediately regret the decision as your boobs are drooping and, more often that not, the bra itself has slipped down the front of your dress leaving a ghastly shape which is attracting the attention of every single person in the room. They are instruments of torture.
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11. It’s easy to look fatter than you are with bad photography
There is nothing worse than going to a party, ending up in lots of pictures, then surfing through pictures of yourself the next day to find that you look like a heffalump. The reason being is that nearly all the pictures have been cut off at breast height, making you look 2662874 sizes bigger than you are, and immortalising you that way for eternity. You can’t use the “I’m not that fat, I’m just big breasted” excuse, as it washes down just as well as “I’m not fat, I’m just big boned.”
12. We worry more about getting old
Sagging boobs is something that every woman worries about, as they aren’t particularly nice to look at. Large breasted women have it bad, though. Sometimes they’re so big that they’re already drooping, and you face risking them peek out of the bottom of your skirt when you walk to collect your pension.
Funnychill.com
So there you have it, 12 reasons why having big boobs is less than fun, and why women should enjoy having smaller breasts.
***please note that all images have been taken from Pinterest unless otherwise specified. If you wish to be credited, please contact me so that I can give credit where credit is due.***
Rex Reports 