Queen Elizabeth II is Due to Become Britain’s Longest Serving Monarch…And Alex is Ready

When Queen Victoria died on 22nd January 1901, she had been Queen for a remarkable 63 years, 7 months and 2 days. However, this feat is due to be overshadowed by that of her great-granddaughter Elizabeth who, at 5:30pm tomorrow, will take that crown from her and replace her as the longest serving monarch in British history…and Alex can’t wait.

To say that Alex has been a huge supporter of the Queen for her entire life would be an understatement. From the age of 18 months old, it was clear that she had a special affinity with the Queen which manifested itself in her throwing her dummy in front of the Royal carriage in an attempt to stop the procession. She has had a strangely neurotic beef with both Royal babies who she sees as stealing the limelight from her Queen, and has cried with joy at every one of her birthdays that she has been alive for as well as her Golden and Diamond Jubilee’s.

In preparation for tomorrow, Alex has completely outdone her mad, mentally unstable self. She has washed and ironed her Union Jack bedding, which only ever sees daylight for Royal occasions (except those to do with Royal babies), has places her canvas of the Queen in pride of place on her bedroom wall and has her limited edition Queen Elizabeth II ice cream scoop washed, prepped and ready for the big announcement at 5:30pm.

However, she has pushed herself over the edge…and not in a sane, mentally balanced sort of way. After hours of searching round many different stores, she finally found a cake with a crown that….wait for it…she insists looks exactly like the Queen.

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Not only is she super excited about this, as you can tell from the maniacal expression on her face, but she has also convinced herself that our dear Labrador, Willow, has assumed the role of Keeper of the Cake. She has searched high and low to find her a uniform, and has settled on this rather odd combination of children’s dress up and military uniform. Those of you who have seen The Tower of London Dare: THAT Video may recognise the cape.

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I have attempted to point out that the Queen is, in fact a Queen and not a Princess, and so Alex’s cake is flawed from the outset. Her retort, however, was that the likeness of the cake was strong enough to overshadow any issue of title which the cake may have (I thought at this point that mentioning cakes can’t have titles was a moot point) and that “she was Princess Elizabeth once so she won’t mind!” To prove me wrong, she even tweeted a picture of herself with the cake to the Queen herself, as well as several newspapers….

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Has she finally lost the plot? Stay tuned….

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Alex: “I’m Going to Blow Myself Away”

Yesterday, London was visited by some particularly strong winds which were literally shaking my house and howling like nothing I have ever heard before. Alex became increasingly intrigued by the wind speed, studying the trees and the fence, and noticed that they were shaking quite violently. I took one look at her, she looked at me and then said “Victoria, I’m going to blow myself away.” I quite literally facepalmed at this point but Alex got off the sofa, fetched my Dad’s Hi-Vis jacket (“because if I blow away, I want the planes to see me”), headed out into the street in broad daylight, spread her arms and waited.

As Alex is literally quite mad, I decided to turn this into an experiment which would enable me to spend an extra ten minutes avoiding coursework, and so set out to determine whether a wind speed of 45mph is strong enough to blow away a tiny human. After all, it is rather amusing, if a little embarrassing.

Alex’s first attempt on the street didn’t work too well, but you can see that she appears to be having a jolly good old time playing outside the front of the house. My mother, who is just to the left of her, you can hear quietly speaking to our dog walker Siobhan, who has become accustomed to Alex’s shenanigans and now ignores her. Alex does things like this on a daily basis, and so people in the street are no longer shocked.

Following this first failed attempt, Alex decided to move into the back garden, where she believed that the wind was blowing stronger. We were actually met with a slither more success, but this was only in the form of the wind blowing her top up slightly, and Alex hadn’t moved a muscle as a result of the wind.

In conclusion then, it is clearly impossible for 45mph winds to move a person, even if they are attempting to ‘catch’ it in an item of clothing.

 

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Does Careless Whisper Really Make Anything Sexy?

I wrote a post similar to this one almost two years ago (again for an older blog), and upon reviewing the videos I just had to share them again.

I can’t remember exactly how this came into being, but as it appears to be a huge search topic on YouTube, we most likely took the idea from there and then decided to test the theory that Careless Whisper makes anything sexy in our own weird way.

1. Does Careless Whisper Make Watering the Plants Sexy?

The first test that Alex and I did was to see if watering the plants could be made any sexier by playing Careless Whisper.

2. Does Careless Whisper Make Mowing the Lawn Sexy?

Sticking with the outdoor theme, Alex and I then decided to see if mowing the law could be made any sexier by adding a soundtrack.

3. Does Careless Whisper Make Eating Cereal Sexy?

For the third and final test, Alex and I decided to move indoors in order to see whether eating cereal from a box could be made any sexier.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I’m actually very doubtful that Careless Whisper makes anything any sexier – in fact, I think it probably makes it a whole lot more disturbingly hilarious than attractive. However, things like this are always subjective and you may, yourselves, find that Careless Whisper does actually make everything a whole lot sexier.

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The Tower of London Dare: THAT Video

A while back, I wrote a post about the fact that I literally can’t take my sister anywhere without her threatening to do something completely stupid or outrageous. One of the occasions that I mentioned involved a trip to the tower of London, where she sported a cape and a Beefeater hat for the entire duration of the visit.

Whilst cleaning up my facebook page and removing posts relevant to an older blog that I have but no longer use, I came across this video of Alex post Tower of London visit. Again, it proves that Alex can go literally nowhere without causing a scene or making a fool of herself. She can’t even run with a lollipop without choking. And she wasn’t even eating it.